Politically Correct Ways to Describe Men

With all the effort to use inclusive language to include women, it’s time we developed some politically correct ways to describe men.

A few samples.

...He does not have a beer belly; He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
...He is not quiet; He is a Conversational Minimalist.
...He is not stupid; He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
...He does not get lost all the time; He discovers Alternative Destinations.
...He is not balding; He is in Follicle Regression.

...You do not kiss him. You become Facially Conjoined.
...He does not get falling-down drunk; He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
...He does not act like a total ass; He develops a case of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
...He is not short; He is Anatomically Compact.
...He does not have a rich daddy; He is a recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
...He does not constantly talk about cars; He has a Vehicular Addiction.
...He does not have a hot body; He is Physically Combustible.
...He is not unsophisticated; He is Socially Malformed.
...He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
...He is not a bad dancer; He is Overly Caucasian.
...He does not hog the blankets; He is Thermally Unappreciative.
...He is not a male chauvinist pig; He has Swine Empathy.

'nuff said